Rant 1: People Being Not-So-Grateful

 

On this episode of "What Really Grinds My Gears" we will go into a certain topic that drives me absolutely crazy.

PEOPLE THAT AREN'T GRATEFUL!

Okay, so I love this bit from "Corpse Bride" and it reflects how I semi-introduced this rant/vent that I will be doing.

No, this isn't about the Dead walking among the Living.  I'm pretty sure I'd be taking a selfie with Emily and Victor if that actually happened.

Anyways.  To the rant!
 ----


So a few days ago, I was on Facebook like I usually am checking things before I go to bed.  I had posted a Facebook status about how strange it is that I won't be going to school this year or semester.  See, being graduated and everything is really a great accomplishment.  But it's also the strangest thing in the entire world because it's the whole "now what?" question and sometimes, you have no idea.  Well, on this Facebook status of mine, somebody I know commented asking that very question.  This rant is about me hating how much people ask you "What do you do with an English major?" or "Are you going to graduate school now?" or anything.  No.  But this is why I like this friend of mine, Francoise.  You see, if you don't remember, I was an exchange student to France five years ago... 3 days from today.  She is a Rotarian and lives in a town pretty close to where I spent my year abroad and she was my friend's counselor.  I have known Francoise and have kept in contact with her, along with my Rotary Club in France, ever since I came home 4 years ago.

So this is where the rant comes in, but first let's quote my Facebook status here with a small screenshot:

English Translation:  That's good.  We rarely have news from Rotex and it's too bad.

So you might be asking yourself what "Rotex" is.  Simple: after exchange students complete their year abroad and come home, they are known as Rotex.  I am a Rotex myself.  Usually, Rotex helps with the "Inbounds" (the students IN the country; you are an OUTbound by being out of the country of origin) and you help them transition in the Rotary district.  So for me, I am now Rotex for Utah District 5420.  I help with interviews, talk with our other members, talk to the would-be exchange students, and just basically have the first hand experience to tell the parents and their kids what they're signing up for by wanting to do an exchange.  My experiences in France could fill up a novel, and to say the least, I had a few parents ask if they could hug me after telling them only a few of these experiences a couple of years ago.  So in a nutshell, that's also what Rotex does: we tell people what to expect.  It's not all rainbows, sunshine and puppies... but it can be.  But you can see the importance that we, as Rotex, have to the Rotary District.

Now comes the rant:

Look back at that translation.  Think about what I just wrote.  Doesn't something seem off?  If you can't figure out exactly what, here you go:

Some Rotex in my French district rarely send the Rotarians and the District emails (nouvelles = news) or any other contact after they are done with exchange.

RARELY?!

Okay, so I wasn't exactly the happiest camper in France.  I had a lot of struggles and had to continuously prove myself to the French Rotary that showed them I wanted to be there and that I didn't want to go home and many other things.  Yes, this was 5 years ago, and at age 16 and 17, it's difficult to be your independent self in a foreign country when you are living with three other families in 11 months and you don't know how people perceive you.  Yes, it will always be difficult on exchange.  But to these Rotex that don't even send a "thank you!" or anything, if ever, after they've come home??????!!

Another definition for you:  Rotex can also mean the previous exchange students that were hosted through a district or club in the host country.  So yes, I'm a Rotex for Utah, but I'm technically a Rotex for France as well.

Now, when I send an email (I send about 3-5 per year depending on my "nouvelles" and other personal life things... like graduating) I send it to about 10 or 12 people.  This includes my counselor, each host family member, people who hosted me at their home, Rotarians in the District, and also a few friends of mine that have gotten rid of their Facebook.  Fun fact:  Francoise actually came to visit me while I was in school a couple of years ago and she was the first person I had seen since my exchange in real life.  I love that.  My emails are generally long and are about 4-5 paragraphs.  Some are shorter than others, but they basically say what I've been up to since the previous email.  In return, I get some French corrections and always the same "Thank you!" for emailing them and that if I were to ever visit, then don't hesitate to contact whoever.

And that is why this stumps me for these "Rare Rotex" types.  If given the opportunity as a former exchange student and you want to go back to the country you stayed in, you probably would need a place to stay for a few days.  Maybe even a week.  By not keeping in contact, there might be some level of surprise when you show up.  Maybe there are people that are kind of angry you didn't keep in contact, or others that are actually okay with it.

Honestly, I know a few people that would fall into each category here and then I'd get a guilt-trip for not keeping in contact and that they will be like "fine, you can stay here" when you are unable to find a hotel or something for cheap.

Now, to give some perspective here, I should mention that before I left for France, my family and I hosted a Belgian exchange student, Armandine.  She lived with us for the winter months before switching back to her first host family.  After she left, I didn't talk to her very much, but she actually just came to visit Logan a couple of weeks ago and the first thing she did was email my parents.  We had a lovely dinner with her one night and that was fantastic.  It reminded me yet again how much I want to go back to France even with all the stuff I dealt with while there.  And that is because of one reason:

1.  The people.

We all have our favorites and not-so-favorites when it comes to people.  For example, I loved my second family.  Correction.  I LOVE my second family.  And then I met some people that I just didn't want to talk to because of how they made me feel.  But you know, you stick it out.  I had to.  I had to stick out for myself for 7 months, constantly checking everything I did, watching what I was saying, etc, just so I wasn't sent home early.  That "threat" was scary, but some of the people made me realize time and time again it wasn't what I wanted.  I always had bad days and then when I had good days, they were fantastic.

Let's go to the last part of the translation now, shall we?

Dommage = too bad

Too bad.

Personally, the thing I would hate the most is thinking how much I'd love to go back to France one day and then I think to myself:  "It's too bad that I didn't contact as much as I should have."

It's a circle if it turns out that way.  Yes, it's too bad that I don't talk to my friends as much as I would like to, but with us being so busy and a minimum of an 8 hour time difference, what can you do?  I still write to them, but it's "too bad" that it isn't so simple to keep that contact.  Whereas with Rotary, I constantly e-mail.  I even email people there that I never get responses from because I don't want it to seem like I'm better than they are.  No, I email them too because if they ever respond (and some have!) then it's a great joy to see their response when they have time to email back.

If there is any moral to this story, it should be something like this:

A "Thank you" can go a long way.  I've already been told (because I email so much. . . haha) that if I ever go back to France, I have people I can visit and a place or two to stay at.  I do want to go back to France.  But it just isn't possible right now.

And seeing that it's 3 days from today when I first left for France, I will end with this note:

VIVE LA  FRANCE 

Let's Muse About: Realism and... Spoilers!

Without realism, where would we be in the world?  More specifically, what would our literary canon be like if realism wasn't around?  Or anything for that matter... song lyrics, literature, films...

Well, hello world.  It's been a week or so and I am currently watching Anna Karenina downstairs while taking a break from my TEFL course on Canvas.  So, for starters, I should probably mention that I consider myself a realist writer.  What's realism you may ask?  Simple:

Realism:  the quality or fact of representing a person, thing, or situation accurately or in a way that is true to life.

When I say I'm a realist writer, I basically write based on the "true to life" aspect.  Obviously, there are times when my writing is questioned *cough cough* like my thesis *cough* for being realistic, but as long as I know it's true, a question that might be ask is why realism actually matters.  Well, for starters, it's the opposite of Romanticism (aka, happy endings).  Remember how I said I'm watching Anna Karenina?  Yeah, the original story itself is written by Russian author Leo Tolstoy.  The novel is set in Imperial Russia and is basically what you can expect as soon as you learn about the main character, female mind you, meeting another man and that she is also married to someone.  What happens?

ADULTERY

Of course adultery happens.  And I'm even typing this as the act happens.  Anyways.

When it comes to realism, it isn't always comforting to see how real life happens with how things end.  In simpler terms, realism isn't a cheerful thing to talk about mainly because realism thrives to tell people the unhappy-real-life stuff that actually happens.  Anna is a work of fiction, but there are things about her story that Tolstoy uses to portray real life.  But there are also ways that Tolstoy shows realism in different ways that may not actually be considered realism.

**SPOILERS**

So, like any realistic story that is set back in the day, usually the main character has a downfall of some kind.  For this story, the downfall happens to Anna (by admitting her affair and society basically hates her for it) and... well, suicide.  Yeah, that's the realism part for you.  But seeing the literary canon and realism, suicide is quite a common choice to make when life seems to be getting too hard for the character.  But it also makes it easier when the story is written in third person.  I'm now beginning to think of Stephen Crane's Maggie, A Girl of the Streets and the somewhat controversy of that ending.  If you haven't read the story, it's not a bad one.  But the Irish written-out accents and dialects get annoying after awhile, so luckily it isn't too long to get through.  Basically, Maggie (the narrator's sister) is eventually a prostitute in the story and the ending is really ambiguous whether there is a suicide or a murder going on.  I told you there were spoilers, but how can this be a spoiler if nobody actually knows what really happens to Maggie other than Crane?  So many interpretations, so little time.

Realism really is an interesting thing to talk about whether it's reading it, interpreting it, or writing it.  

Part of me was going to talk about the film Titanic here, but all of you should know how unrealistic that movie is with the exception of Titanic being a real historical event.  The only realism stuff in that movie is the historical aspect.  Sorry Jack, you still have to drown in the end.  But hey, at least that part's realistic.  But the whole sex in the ship cargo and the chance meeting of a 1st class rich girl and a dirt-poor 3rd class passenger meeting and falling in love?

Not gonna happen.